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"The Difference Between Dreams and Reality" (A Self-Portrait), Oil on Canvas, 18x24 inches, Cynthia Gough-2004Well, after reading a post by my friend Sarah, I wrote a lengthy comment on her blog. So before you read any further, go there, http://cerrahs.blogspot.com/ and then you’ll understand more about what I’m about to write. And also, here is my comment to her.
"Oh Sarah... You're making me cry now... The best times of my life were when I was in Del's classes painting, was I in that first portrait painting class with you that time? And for a semester, my first at SUU, I thought of doing something besides painting -graphic design. It was the only semester I hadn't taken a painting or drawing class. I took a graphic design class, and I hated it! I thought that possibly I wanted to become a graphic artist, because it would be "easier, "more "stable", or "easier" to find work. But as I took the class, I realized I hated it! During that semester, at my apartment one day, I decided to paint again. I cried, and fell in love all over again... I realized what I really loved. So after that I decided to go for the "useless" drawing and painting BA. And I loved every minute of it. The thing is, all my roommates thought I had it easy... "Oh, she's just an art major," No, it was hard work! Anyway, I don't know why it's been so hard for me to pick it back up... (I think the kids may have something to do with it...) Anyway, I just tell this story because you have inspired me to keep at it. What you have done is truly inspirational, I'm proud of you. I want to be like you. I should shut up, and go finish my painting I've been working on for 4-1/2 years now... Thank you! I want to see your painting up close, It's beautiful, amazing, no words to describe it, that's why we have art... Maybe I'll be put this novel in a post now..."
So, I also wanted to add that Sarah’s painting is amazing! She did everything right! I love the style, the model, the expression, and she captured all that Sarah wanted to about Eve. I also wanted to say that I’m so proud of Sarah. I’ve known her since middle school, so I’ve seen many things that she’s drawn and painted. She has improved tremendously, as you have seen! I remember me, Karolee (my cousin), and Sarah all had this art thing going together. Sometimes it seemed like we were sort of competing against each other… But now, it’s clear that Sarah is “winning.” (Not that it’s a competition.)
"Oh Sarah... You're making me cry now... The best times of my life were when I was in Del's classes painting, was I in that first portrait painting class with you that time? And for a semester, my first at SUU, I thought of doing something besides painting -graphic design. It was the only semester I hadn't taken a painting or drawing class. I took a graphic design class, and I hated it! I thought that possibly I wanted to become a graphic artist, because it would be "easier, "more "stable", or "easier" to find work. But as I took the class, I realized I hated it! During that semester, at my apartment one day, I decided to paint again. I cried, and fell in love all over again... I realized what I really loved. So after that I decided to go for the "useless" drawing and painting BA. And I loved every minute of it. The thing is, all my roommates thought I had it easy... "Oh, she's just an art major," No, it was hard work! Anyway, I don't know why it's been so hard for me to pick it back up... (I think the kids may have something to do with it...) Anyway, I just tell this story because you have inspired me to keep at it. What you have done is truly inspirational, I'm proud of you. I want to be like you. I should shut up, and go finish my painting I've been working on for 4-1/2 years now... Thank you! I want to see your painting up close, It's beautiful, amazing, no words to describe it, that's why we have art... Maybe I'll be put this novel in a post now..."
So, I also wanted to add that Sarah’s painting is amazing! She did everything right! I love the style, the model, the expression, and she captured all that Sarah wanted to about Eve. I also wanted to say that I’m so proud of Sarah. I’ve known her since middle school, so I’ve seen many things that she’s drawn and painted. She has improved tremendously, as you have seen! I remember me, Karolee (my cousin), and Sarah all had this art thing going together. Sometimes it seemed like we were sort of competing against each other… But now, it’s clear that Sarah is “winning.” (Not that it’s a competition.)
I’m so glad for her, but I’m jealous. Not jealous of her talent, but that I know I can do the same thing, but I’m not. Why haven’t I? I wanted to enter the same competition. I had plans, but didn’t follow through… I don’t think it’s because I have two kids, and Sarah has one. One or two, doesn’t make too big of a difference. I think I just lost the willpower when it comes to art, I just always figured that I’d pick up art again once the kids go to school. But thanks to Sarah, I’ve realized that I need to keep at it. Why wait? I at very least need the practice. But I also need to keep going with my talent, to feel all that comes with it on a regular basis. I’ve known this all along, but I lost sight of it.
Art is a journey. I was talking to a friend earlier about her sharing her talent of writing poetry. She said she didn’t feel like she could because her poems are too personal. I feel like art is personal too, but the viewer only sees part of it, or the fruits of it. The other part is the personal journey that the artist goes on, the battle, the good times and the bad times, and trying to get it just right (even though it is never “just right” but always, “almost right.”)
I want to keep this journey in my life. I’ve had the goal of being a working artist, but I’ve known it will take time, especially when I still have kids at home. I can do whatever I want, if I plan for it. There’s precious naptime, and after the kids go to bed. So there are small increments here and there. I love “painting” my masterpieces, my kids, but I have plans for more. I have plans, plans to continue on my journey of art. If I just decide to, and plan for it, I know I can do it. I’m working on another project (that I’m absolutely loving) at the moment, which will earn me money. But I have plans for my art to be part of that project in the future. I will be successful in whatever I dream because I know that, “Do or do not, there is no try”-Yoda. I have dreamed about my successful business as an artist, and if I endure to the end, and just do it, it will become reality. It will take time, but then my dreams right now will become my reality in the future. And my reality right now will turn into my dreams. It just depends on me.
And that, my friends, is the difference between dreams and reality.
Sorry for the novel, I just needed to get this out. And this seemed like a fine place...
7 comments:
Good for you, Cynth! Keep it up. You do have amazing talent and creativity. I know you can make your business a success someday!
This is Karolee. I'm so offended!:) What's this, "Sarah is winning!" Just teasing.You guys both so are! My art hasn't been anywhere but under my bed collecting dust since 11th grade:) Sarah's painting really is beautiful. I'm so proud of both of you guys and how much you've done with your talent. Sometimes I would love to be in a play again, or paint, or sing all the time.But something I've had to remind myself of is that Heavenly Father uses our talents in many different ways, and at different seasons. For every minute we have He only wants us to do one thing, and it is for us to go to Him to find out what that one thing is. You very well may be working on the art piece of life you are supposed to right now. I have no doubt you are doing great things too and will continue to create beautiful things. So even if it's slow- it's still moving. love ya.
I never thought "oh she is just an art major." You have always worked harder than anyone I know at everything you do. Keep it up!
My mother in law e-mailed me these comments, (Because she gets the blog posts e-mailed to her) I thought I would share:
Subject: AMEN!
Cynthia, Thanks for this edition of Cynthias Life. I LOVE that painting of "The Mother of all Living". Can we get prints of it?That's something that you would see in the Ensign and everyone would want a copy of. Love, Mom!
E-mail#2:
Subject: What I Meant...
Cynthia, I said thanks for the email, but what I mean is thanks for sharing those special thoughts. You not only have a way with paints and pens, but with words. Love, Mom
Cynthia,
You are such a sweet heart. I came over because I wanted to thank you for the comment, and then- wow, there's more. You're right, you can do it. I tell people a lot that anyone can do it, it just takes that good ol' hard work. But people try and realize how hard it is and that's when they give up. So if you have that love for it, and extra spark of talent, that's when you jump away from the "anyone" and become an artist.
Since Frankie was born, I was often in a moral dilemma of frustration that I didn't have time, or didn't make time to do art or scrapbook or the other creative things I love. It seemed like I had to completely give up those things in order to be a Mother and help provide for my family. I really have my Mom to thank for pushing me and helping me start this painting. And then in the midst of working on it I went to the Relief Society session and it was as if Elder Uchtdorf's talk answered all the questions of my heart. (I hope you heard it or have read it.)
To make a long story short, I think you and Karolee are both right. Being a wife and mother is your greatest art right now. But it is pleasing to the Lord for us to create. Whether it is homeade gifts or paintings. I'm excited to see what comes up on your art blog in the future.
Cynthia, Well as you know I have struggled with not doing enough art my whole life. I think about doing stuff all the time but life gets in the way. As I think about it though, I do a lot of art in small ways. I recently was asked to make a messaage for the Relief Society news letter. I spoke of the Bells that I heard frm the church next door and the feelings that the belss caused me to have. This single message caused someeone to thank me for doing exactly what Elder Uchtdorf told us to do and that is to "create" happiness in the world. She told me that my message created in her "new" feelings that she had never thought of before and that is what "art" does. So I guess I am being an artist in many different ways. Yesterday I helped someoione else do a story time at the library with crafts. It was a lot of fun. We only had four children to work with and their mothers but it was so much fun. I had forgotten my talent of teaching and it was fun to see the eyes of those children glimmer with confidence and happiness as I had them dancing like ghosts on the rug. Many of the thins that we all "create" are not great money makers nor are they perused by millions of eyes but they are creations of happiness that cause great ripples and will continue to do so even after we are dead. Those ripples are caused because of impressions we have made or the influence we have had on people's lives. I know that sharing and causing people to feel the light of the Savior in their lives
is an art. I have been so grateful for all the people who have touched my life with their art of sharing light and helping me to know that the Savior is real and alive and can make a great difference in every aspect of our lives. Living life is an art!
We participate in it everyday. The ways that each of us individually share our talents that the Lord has given us is our stewardship form Our Lord. I also know that if we ask for the Savior's help in fulfilling that stewardship He will help us to know exactly when and how to manifest our talents to glorify Him. Cynthia I think that you have done great things and I have always been so proud of the way you have used your great talents. Thanks for your thoughts and for always sharing your "light" with me and our family. Keep up the good work. Mom You are right! Sarah's painting is absolutely wonderful and is a sharing of great light! Kudos to all your friends and relations. You have the blessing of being surrounded by many great lights!
Hi Cynthia.
I found your blog on Sarah's. I hope you don't mind if I check in now and then. I enjoy reading your thoughts. Your kids are adorable. Where are you guys living now?
-Sara Gabrielson Ward
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